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Four Things No One Tells You About Divorce (and What You Need to Know Now) Part 2
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Four Things No One Tells You About Divorce (and What You Need to Know Now) Part 1
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Alphabet Soup for the Relational Soul – Part 2
-Like attach and attack, mediate and meditate are another pair of closely related words. The delighted expression of people first…
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Mediation Questions to Consider
-{7 minutes to read} Clients often ask what can they do to prepare for mediation. This article concerns itself with questions mediation candidates might use to prepare for mediation — not so much regarding collecting this receipt or that statement, but in a more comprehensive and holistic way —
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Alphabet Soup for the Relational Soul
-What is in a word? A lot, I think. Although a rose by any name may smell just as sweet, I find that when I frequently bump into and miswrite the same particular words, it may be alerting me to something.
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Who Ya Gonna Call? The Mediator!
-{6 minutes to read} Help Often people get stuck, flailing about for weeks or decades, trying to figure out what…
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Best Practices for On-Line Mediation: Recommended Ground Rules
-Mediating Online requires some new guidelines to optimize participants’ experience and maintain the integrity of the mediation process.
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Mediating Your Divorce Online: From Home
-{6 minutes to read} The Challenges and Gifts of On-Line Divorce Mediation Mediating from Home Divorce is discomforting. Traversing divorce…
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Relocating as Part of Divorce – Part 3
-{3 minutes to read} As promised, here we are with our third and final installment on relocation in divorce. The…
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Mediation in the Hamptons
-{6 minutes to read} Mediation is for everyone, from the most sophisticated families with the most complex finances to the…
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Words that Harm and Words that Heal (Part III)
-{3 minutes to read} Words that Harm and Heal, Even well-meaning caregivers can miss or botch a critical opportunity to…
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Making Sense of Alimony — Question 2
-{3 minutes to read} The current series of blogs is exploring three frequently asked questions regarding alimony. This article discusses…
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Making Sense of Alimony — Question 1
-{8 minutes to read} Few words in the English language are as loathed as the word “alimony.” Perhaps bankruptcy and…
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Five Myths of Mediation
-{6 minutes to read} There are 5 common misbeliefs about mediation that may be preventing divorcing people from accessing this…
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Your Rights — Going Fast! Part 3
-{3 minutes to read} “In heaven we have justice. Here on earth, we have law.” So said my Torts Professor,…
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Your Rights — Going Fast! Part 2
-{4:30 minutes to read} The Ramifications (and Rants) The conundrum: our legal system has two opposing principles. First: it encourages…
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Your Rights — Going Fast! Part 1
-{5 minutes to read} Not receiving the relief promised in your Judgment of Divorce (JOD)? Spouse still hasn’t paid the…
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How Could You Do That? The Inner Critic Speaks, and This Time We’re Listening
-“What were you thinking? Did you just say that? Out loud?” {8 minutes to read} That’s not a nice way…
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Holiday First Aid for Hurt Hearts
-{2 minutes to read} Divorce can reshape our holiday celebrations into something disordered, gloomy and sad. In the midst of…
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Your Brain on Divorce
-{4 minutes to read} The brain, dear brain, lights up with luminous ideas and cradles our treasured memories. That organ-control…
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Focusing Attunement: The 5 Foundations — Standing and Walking
-{4 minutes to read} It’s my pleasure to share the second of two attunements from a dear Focusing colleague, Jocelyn…
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Focusing Attunement: The 5 Foundations — Sitting
-{4 minutes to read} It’s my pleasure to share the first of two attunements from a dear Focusing colleague, Jocelyn…
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It’s Time for Another Paradigm Shift
-{5 minutes to read} We don’t necessarily need victims in order to be heroes. In divorce, it’s quite typical to…
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The New Face of Zealous Advocacy: Teamwork
-{5:42 minutes to read} The new face of zealous advocacy could be teamwork. Teamwork! Background Recently, I served as counsel…
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Does Your Attorney Fit Your Particular Genotype? Part II
-{4:12 minutes to read} In my last blog , I looked at…
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Does Your Attorney Fit Your Particular Genotype? Part I
-{3:12 minutes to read} Lawyers are like organs. They come in all shapes and sizes and have a purpose. However,…
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“Going In” Doesn’t Mean Going Deep – Part II
-{5 minutes to read} Part II picks up where we left off, providing the last three elements of how…
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A 3-Minute Attunement (Reconnecting Within)
-{2:30 minutes to read} 3-Minute Attunement Transcription Let’s begin by just slowing down. Finding a comfortable seat. Coming…
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A Triumph for the Best Interests of the Child
-The Overruling of Baures by the NJ Appellate Court {7:12 minutes to read} Relocation is among the most difficult family…
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If I Can Waive Alimony, Why Can’t I Waive Child Support?
-{5:45 minutes to read} If I can waive alimony, why can’t I waive child support? Fair question. Here’s why: Alimony…
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The Focus Oriented Divorce Has Arrived
-{2:30 minutes to read} I am pleased to announce the completion of my certification as a Focus Oriented Professional, and…
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Pathology Pointing: Why it Doesn’t Work in Divorce
-What is the difference between Pollyannaism and a Balanced Realism Approach? {4:36 minutes to read} Pathology Pointing Our western medical…
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The “We Space”
-{4:12 minutes to read} The “we space” is what is created when two or more people are in a relationship.…
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Mindfulness and Mediation
-{3:30 minutes to read} In some spiritual practices, a bell sounds several times a day calling the observant to prayer.…
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Blame – Divorce’s Unfriendly Bedfellow Uncovered
-{5:06 minutes to read} Let’s lift the blind on blame. If blame had a whistle blower, what would he say?…
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To Mediate or Not to Mediate: The Question of Power Imbalance, Part III
-{3:42 minutes to read} Litigation and Power Imbalances DANGER! Safety is essential always, and certainly in mediation, where a degree…
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Happy to Announce…
-{3:12 minutes to read} I am pleased to announce that on June 22, 2017, I became of counsel to the firm…
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To Mediate or Not to Mediate: The Question of Power Imbalance, Part II
-{3:42 minutes to read} In Part I of this series, we defined a power imbalance and how to spot it.…
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To Mediate or Not to Mediate: The Question of Power Imbalance, Part I
-{4:00 minutes to read} Certain relationships are problematic and challenging, whether in mediation or litigation. This article looks at one…
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“Someday” and “Maybe” Numbers: The Challenge of Dividing Retirement Assets Part 3
-{4:00 minutes to read} In Part 2, we discussed marital vs non-marital retirement assets and how some of those assets…
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“Someday” and “Maybe” Numbers: The Challenge of Dividing Retirement Assets – Part 2
-{4:00 minutes to read} Just because we determine a value for something does not mean we divide it! Often spouses…
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“Someday” and “Maybe” Numbers: The Challenge of Dividing Retirement Assets – Part 1
-{2:48 minutes to read} “Hands off,” decries one spouse, “I worked for this, not you. Back off, you lazy sot!”…
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Look Who is Coming to the Mediation Table
-{4:54 minutes to read} What happens when attorneys join clients in matrimonial mediation? It’s anyone’s guess! Generally, in my practice,…
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Anger & Vitriol – and What to Do About Them in Divorce
-{6:12 minutes to read) Yes, you’re mad as hell and you’re not gonna take it anymore! That’s what divorce is…
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The Mediator Will See You Now…
-{4:18 minutes to read} Often, with the best intentions, clients prepare for mediation by trying to resolve as many things…
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Is There Room For Other Professionals in Mediation?
-{3:18 minutes to read} People going through divorce often discover they need more help than they initially imagined. Not only…
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How Do We Understand Family During Divorce?
-{4:18 minutes to read} How do we understand family in a way that’s useful during divorce? First, it’s helpful to…
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What Are We Celebrating Here?
-{3:54 minutes to read} The holidays, now encroaching practically on back-to-school week, are here again. For many, ringing in the…
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Curiosity: The Little Word that Could
-{5:80 minutes to read} Curiosity: A simple word that can unlock possibilities, shift paradigms, and free us from the…
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What is a Family?
-{4:06 minutes to read} Recently, a mediation client exclaimed, “I want to stay married. I want us to still be…
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It Takes 2, Baby!? Or, What Happens When Only One Person Wants the Divorce?
-{6:48 minutes to read} In New Jersey, divorce requires only one willing party. So what about the other party? The…
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The Magic of the Winter Picnic
-{9:54 minutes to read} Divorce, Money and How to Insulate the Children One winter evening, when I was five,…
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Rachel “Andy Rooney” Alexander—An Op-Ed Blog
-{3:18 minutes to read} Why is everything so truncated and terrible these days? Why can’t we have something that works…
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Divorce: Know When to Hold ‘Em, Know When to Fold ‘Em
-{5:36 minutes to read} Recently, a young man, Dave*, called the office, reeling from the discovery of his wife’s infidelity…
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The Difference Between the Mediator, the Draftsman, and Bartleby the Scrivener
-{7:18 minutes to read} On occasion, clients enter mediation with a proposed property settlement agreement in hand—something they have put…
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Why People Divorce: The Breakdown That Precedes the Breakup
-{4:12 minutes to read} As a divorce mediator, I’m often asked: Why do people get divorced? What went wrong? Money…
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Whose Side Are We On? The Same Side!
-{3:00 minutes to read} Not long ago, I heard something fairly remarkable in my mediation session. To set the scene…
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Alimony Ain’t Easy!
-{8:18 minutes to read} As a divorce mediator and family law attorney, I am often asked, “What’s the formula to…
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Parental Alienation—Right Here on Earth
-Parental alienation occurs when one parent hinders or disrupts, even poisons the relationship between the child and the other (usually…
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Creating a Healthy Divorce Narrative for your Kids
-There are a lot of recommendations about how to tell your children you are getting divorced. This article concentrates on…
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The Dissipation of Marital Assets
-{4:31 minutes to read} Dissipation of marital assets is an important topic arising in matrimonial law and mediation. Towards the…