Custody can be a loaded term, filled with implicit threats of loss — loss of control, loss of time, and loss of one’s children. Custody, both a legal and colloquial term, can render images of wailing children wrenched from the arms of panicking parents. One of my tasks as a mediator is to challenge antiquated, […]

What about the pets? It's not a foregone conclusion that separation or divorce means divorcing or forsaking your pet. That would be too heartbreaking for words, is avoidable, and is therefore unacceptable.  Pets are a topic that folks often raise sheepishly, appreciating that when it comes to matrimonial law, divorce, and equitable distribution, animals are […]

Couples’ counselor Meredith Keller explains how the willingness to discuss difficult relationship issues can help determine whether a marriage is viable. She also examines the important difference between an unwillingness to communicate and a lack of communication skills.

What happens when the father is the stay-at-home spouse and the mother is the primary earner? Can we simply swap out the term husband for wife and expect an equitable outcome? Let’s see. In cases where the mother is the stay-at-home parent and the father is the full-time working parent, the children typically reside with […]

to the best of your ability, keep on keeping on. Status quo has an important legal meaning for people going through a divorce.  Status quo, meaning “the existing state of affairs,” informs divorcing parties what they are expected to do while they are in the process of divorcing.  This interim time, the pendente lite period (pendency of […]

In a recent divorce negotiation, a father raised several concerns about entering into a custody and parenting agreement for their nine-year-old son. His concerns are both legitimate and pertinent to most divorcing couples who are also parents of young children. Below are two of his concerns with my responses. Father’s Concern: “If I agree to […]

Couples often struggle when one or both partners expect the other to manage their difficult emotions. Marriage counselor Meredith Keller explains how personal responsibility, space for both voices, and healthier communication can help couples respond more constructively.

This article, part of the series with our partner and friend, couples therapist Meredith Keller, LPC, ACS, explores unfaithfulness and infidelity, challenging the misconception that they always necessitate the end of a marriage. While an affair usually signals marital issues requiring attention, infidelity need not necessitate divorce. There has long been the belief that divorce is the […]

In this article, we continue our series with colleague Meredith Keller, LPC, ACS, couples’ therapist, who explores with us the primary reasons couples come to her in the first place. Meredith identifies one of the primary issues in struggling marriages as this: one or both parties are unable to monitor – and moderate – their own […]