Divorce Mediation Home

What Is Alexander Mediation Group?

Alexander Mediation Group, which specializes in divorce mediation in NJ, is a professional divorce mediation group that works with couples and families to address the financial, emotional and legal challenges of divorce. We are also trained family law attorneys, giving us the background and knowledge necessary to navigate the complex world of divorce.

Our goal oriented approach encourages transparency and communication between all parties as we work toward an amicable divorce that best equips the individuals and family to embark on the next phase of their lives.

Alexander Mediation Group rejects the traditional adversarial litigation approach to divorce in favor of the conflict resolution approach of mediation, keeping you out of the courtroom and in control of your divorce and thus your life.  Because we have always focused exclusively on divorce mediation in NJ, we are uniquely qualified to help where others cannot.

Saving You More Than Money

Our approach to divorce mediation – and the goal of a cooperative divorce – focuses on the well being and integrity of the people we serve.  We believe it’s advantageous to be gentle on people and tough on problems.  Our mediator is a licensed attorney trained in therapeutic modalities, allowing her to address both the expressed and underlying issues during the mediation process in order to create long-term solutions and agreements that remain in place long after the judgment of divorce is issued.  

Still Saving You Money

Mediation is often significantly less expensive than a divorce. The cost of a contested divorce can vary widely, but some experts estimate that they start around $20,000, and go up from there.

By contrast, mediation is a fraction of the cost of an adversarial divorce.  A divorce mediation in NJ can cost less than half of even a simple uncontested divorce, with most NJ mediated divorces costing well below $10,000.   In addition, mediation clients pay as they go, at the end of each session, instead of getting monthly invoices.  And, as mediation clients pay as they go, mediation participants finalize their divorces without facing a daunting accumulation of legal bills.  

Litigation can often be so costly that it drives parties deeply into debt (after wiping out their savings and their children’s college funds).  In a mediated divorce, resources are spared and can be used as intended, for the furtherance of the family’s goals.  This is among the ways mediation protects families and adheres to a client-centered model.

Mediation helps prevent financial hardship in the future, for both you and your children.

Saving You Time

Once you’re on the adversarial track in the NJ court system, you are bound by the court’s schedule.  You will receive notices by mail for obligatory meetings, filings and hearings.  Among these are the filing of an answer, submitting requested forms and documentation, Case Management Conference and Early Settlement Panel, and so on.  The court system operates as a bureaucratic machine; your individual schedule and timetable must work around it.  If you need more time to complete something, you must contact the court and request it.  Court dates are set during normal business hours, forcing parties to miss work, time with children, or other activities in order to attend hearings. This can be stressful and disruptive, taking a central role in your life to the detriment of your other obligations.  Rather than processing things at your preferred pace, you are now on another timeline altogether.  Navigating the system is taxing enough, but when all the major marital issues are as yet unaddressed and unresolved, litigants can experience their lives unraveling into chaos.

Mediation is much different.

Your time is your own—we understand the disruption even a good divorce brings and know you need to carry on with as much normalcy around your work and home schedules as possible.  We aim to support this by offering evening and weekend appointments and working with your schedule and at your pace.  

With mediation, your time is yours—you determine the pace of the process. There is no one size fits all formula.  Our client-centered approach puts the power back in your hands, relieves stress, and humanizes what can feel like a dehumanizing situation.

Preserving Your Relationships

Divorce rarely involves parties who will never interact again.  Especially when children are involved, you will likely be interacting with your former spouse possibly daily, well into the future, and for the rest of your lives.  We believe that the quality of your relationship with your ex-spouse significantly impacts your future quality of life as well as that of your children.  Mediation, unlike litigation, promotes the maintenance of respectful relationships throughout the divorce process, resulting in friendlier, healthier relationships in the future.

An amicable divorce is a gift to yourself, your former spouse, and your children.

Divorce can be difficult for children, and when there is conflict and discord between parents, it reverberates with the children.  Amicable divorce maintains a respectful, cooperative relationship with your former spouse that can be critical to the security and development of your children.

Many couples find that the terms of their divorce need to be revisited in the future as situations change.  A good working relationship with your ex-spouse is critical in making future changes peaceable.

Remember, mediation isn’t just for divorce—post-divorce mediation is not uncommon. Click here to learn more about post-divorce mediation.

A Holistic Process

The traditional approach to divorce by family law attorneys is usually far from holistic.  Many divorce lawyers in NJ and family law attorneys focus only on what immediately benefits their client, not considering the interrelatedness of the family system and what serves their client in the long term.  In mediation, we are conscious of how the well being of each of the family members is interdependent.  When one client “prevails,” the winning party still has to work together with the defeated party and depend upon them for such things as complying with the terms of the agreement and co-parenting the children.  

A licensed attorney in New Jersey, New York and Maryland, Rachel Alexander has a background in social work and multiple therapeutic modalities.  Her expertise and years of experience uniquely qualify her to anticipate, identify and address underlying issues in mediation to better resolve legal and financial matters.


We Look At The Forest And The Trees

We have been practicing divorce mediation in NJ for a long time.  We know how all the pieces work, and we know how to coordinate everything fluidly and flawlessly.  Taking a different approach from most family law attorneys, we work to get a settlement agreement finalized before involving the court.   

With mediation, we handle drafting and mailing the divorce documents and preparing you for your uncontested hearing.  By streamlining the process and approaching your divorce in a step by step process, we breakdown what might otherwise seem overwhelming, freeing you to focus on resolving issues.

Dealing With Issues, Not Divorce Papers

Mediation is about human beings, not paperwork.  Traditional divorces start a chain of events that take on a momentum of their own.  Filing deadlines and court mandates loom and bring anxiety and confusion.

Alexander Mediation Group manages the paperwork and process while you focus on what’s best for you.

Mediation covers all the items dealt with in a divorce — including child support, parenting plans, finance, assets, debt and alimony.  Mediation also includes non-legal issues implicit in divorce, such as communication, protecting your children, and establishing your post-divorce fundamentals.  We work closely with other professionals such as therapists, mortgage brokers, realtors, accountants, financial managers and actuaries, who understand the benefits of mediation and practice the same client-centered approach to which we adhere.  We work closely with other professionals and disciplines, liasioning with them on behalf of our clients, to best provide service and support, providing a tailored team as needed.

This is what we mean by a holistic approach.  

If you want to learn more about the mediation process, click here.

Goal-Oriented Approach

Even while mediation rests in the present, it is with a consciousness of intention towards the future.  When people are encountering painful emotions and endeavoring to overcome overwhelming challenges, goals are invaluable.  A focus on what is wanted can organize the present and lift people through distressing periods.  When the present is trying, focusing on objectives can help reshape it into something more tolerable and bring about what’s wanted sooner.  

In mediation, we work with clients to clarify what they want after the divorce is over.  What do they want their children to say about the divorce?  About how each parent handled it?  What sort of parent-child relationship has been solidified?  How are pick-ups and drop-offs?  How is attending the children’s events simultaneously?  How do you feel when your former spouse calls?  How do you feel about yourself and how you managed this time?  Did you gain self-respect or erode it?  By keeping the end in mind, we consider the effects of our decisions differently, often from our more developed, balanced selves.

Divorce can bring out the worst in the best people.  When we fear our security is threatened, we naturally resort to our most regressed and limited selves.   It is how we are wired.  When we are helped to settle and resource into what we want to create in the near future, we can begin to access more of our refined, complex selves — the parts we need in order to make the decisions that will serve us long term.  

By helping clients to think through their short and long terms goals and the effects of their current choices and behaviors on their future, we engender better outcomes reached by more thoughtful, engaged participants.

Long-Term Solutions

Alexander Mediation Group is a resource for clients and past clients alike.  When,  over time, circumstances change which affect your divorce agreement, or creates new wrinkles, you may need family law attorneys to help address the situation.

If you chose mediation for your divorce, you are in a good position.  You will likely be able to return to mediation to resolve future changes and amendments to the original agreement.  If you mediated your divorce, you likely have a good working relationship with your spouse.  That will make changes to the terms of your divorce simpler, swifter, and less costly.

Finding the Emotional Support You Need

Divorce, even an amicable divorce, can be isolating and painful.  We know our clients’ journey does not end when they leave our office or receive their Final Judgment of Divorce.  Neither does our commitment to their future well being.

Our free monthly divorce support group is available to all who wish to join.  At the divorce support group, you’ll find individuals who have been attending for a long time, finding it valuable, as well as newcomers who are investigating the group for the first time.  While all participants are at different stages of the process, and have had varied experiences, the similarities are astounding, and most attendees benefit from the opportunity to strongly identify with the experiences of others.  When you find resonance with a group, you are no longer alone in the same way.

Click here to learn more about our divorce support group and how it can help you be better sooner.