Divorce Mediation Blog

What is an Attunement? (And is an Oil Change Included?)

{4:30 minutes to read}  A focusing session usually begins with a “lead-in” or something called an “attunement.” An attunement, much like a guided meditation, is a way of bringing awareness into our body and our attention into the present moment. It is an invitation to resource into what is immediately available to us. This begins … Continue reading What is an Attunement? (And is an Oil Change Included?)

If I Can Waive Alimony, Why Can’t I Waive Child Support?

{5:45 minutes to read}   If I can waive alimony, why can’t I waive child support? Fair question. Here’s why: Alimony and child support are two different things and are treated differently under the law. Alimony might be a right of a spouse, but child support is the right of a child. And just like I … Continue reading If I Can Waive Alimony, Why Can’t I Waive Child Support?

The Focus Oriented Divorce Has Arrived

{2:30 minutes to read} I am pleased to announce the completion of my certification as a Focus Oriented Professional, and a Certified Focusing Trainer. The certifications are the culmination of over two years of study, learning, and practicing. I have often made mention of the focusing training, teachers and the Focusing Institute in my blogs. Focusing … Continue reading The Focus Oriented Divorce Has Arrived

Pathology Pointing: Why it Doesn’t Work in Divorce

What is the difference between Pollyannaism and a Balanced Realism Approach? {4:36 minutes to read} Pathology Pointing Our western medical model is pathology-based; our biology is organized around identifying problems. Evolutionarily, problems = danger. But could there be usefulness to hanging out in what is working? This takes a kind of courage — perhaps to … Continue reading Pathology Pointing: Why it Doesn’t Work in Divorce

Ungrateful and Pissed Off? A Curmudgeon’s Survival Guide for Thanksgiving

{6:00 minutes to read} Don’t look now, but here comes Thanksgiving! When you are already in survival mode, a holiday can add insult to injury. If you are bracing for the holidays as a newly divorced family, maybe spending your first Thanksgiving without your kids or extended family, “celebrating” anything can seem absurd. Forced festivities … Continue reading Ungrateful and Pissed Off? A Curmudgeon’s Survival Guide for Thanksgiving

Mindfulness and “Self-in-Presence”: A Tool for Divorce Mediation?

{5:18 minutes to read} How do we get present? Last time we looked at the importance of mindfulness and getting present, so how do we do it? Practice, practice, practice!  And, softly, softly, softly. One suggestion: set an alarm on your smartphone to sound a gentle tone several times during the day.  When you hear … Continue reading Mindfulness and “Self-in-Presence”: A Tool for Divorce Mediation?

To Mediate or Not to Mediate: The Question of Power Imbalance, Part III

{3:42 minutes to read} Litigation and Power Imbalances DANGER! Safety is essential always, and certainly in mediation, where a degree of candor, contact and exchange are generally required. So, if the mediation environment is unsuitable, what then? Entering litigation is not necessarily the answer. Troubled relationships present issues in any forum, but litigation can exaggerate … Continue reading To Mediate or Not to Mediate: The Question of Power Imbalance, Part III