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Four Things No One Tells You About Divorce (and What You Need to Know Now) Part 3
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Four Things No One Tells You About Divorce (and What You Need to Know Now) Part 2
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Four Things No One Tells You About Divorce (and What You Need to Know Now) Part 1
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How Can I Co-Parent When I Don’t Trust My Ex-Spouse? Part II
-{7 minutes to read} In Part I of this article we examine the complex situation of shared custody with an…
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A Happier New Year — 2022
-The New Year brings the opportunity to look ahead with a clean slate. For divorcing couples this can be an…
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An Introduction to Divorce Mediation and Your Finances (Free Online Workshop)
-Hosted by Kelli Lanino, CDFA® , and…
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Alphabet Soup for the Relational Soul – Part 2
-Like attach and attack, mediate and meditate are another pair of closely related words. The delighted expression of people first…
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The Lies Divorcing People Tell … And What to Do About Them
-{4 minutes to read} Early conversations about divorce can be inflammatory and emotional. In fact, they often are not conversations…
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Mediation Questions to Consider
-{7 minutes to read} Clients often ask what can they do to prepare for mediation. This article concerns itself with questions mediation candidates might use to prepare for mediation — not so much regarding collecting this receipt or that statement, but in a more comprehensive and holistic way —
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Alphabet Soup for the Relational Soul
-What is in a word? A lot, I think. Although a rose by any name may smell just as sweet, I find that when I frequently bump into and miswrite the same particular words, it may be alerting me to something.
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Feel Better for Real
-Age-old, and New Age, wisdom tells us that you get what you focus on. It’s practically common knowledge that the…
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Married or Divorced: Are There Any Other Options?
-{6 minutes to read} A dear friend of mine has a saying from his Irish grandfather: Married or not: you’ll…
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Re-Entering the Workforce Post Divorce Part 4 of 4
-{5 minutes to read} Katherine Kirkinis, ED.M., M.A. of Wanderlust Careers, our friend and consultant on this series, routinely works…
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Re-Entering the Workforce Post Divorce Part I of 4
-{3 minutes to read} Reentering the workforce can be among the most daunting tasks arising out of a divorce. Typically…
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Love in the time of COVID
-This week we bring you Love in the time of COVID, an article from the August/September issue of the Purist, a Hamptons,…
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Who Ya Gonna Call? The Mediator!
-{6 minutes to read} Help Often people get stuck, flailing about for weeks or decades, trying to figure out what…
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What Divorcing Couples Need to Know About Real Property
-{5 minutes to read} Whether married or divorcing in New York or New Jersey, couples are well advised to familiarize…
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Best Practices for On-Line Mediation: Recommended Ground Rules
-Mediating Online requires some new guidelines to optimize participants’ experience and maintain the integrity of the mediation process.
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Mediating Your Divorce Online: From Home
-{6 minutes to read} The Challenges and Gifts of On-Line Divorce Mediation Mediating from Home Divorce is discomforting. Traversing divorce…
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Relocating as Part of Divorce – Part 3
-{3 minutes to read} As promised, here we are with our third and final installment on relocation in divorce. The…
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Relocating as Part of Divorce — Part 2
-{5 minutes to read} What Brings You Comfort in New Place? Relocation tips for the newly single, continued from our…
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Relocating as Part of Divorce
-{3 minutes to read} A lot of people who divorce find that it requires relocation. Relocating with children is a…
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Mediation in the Hamptons Part 2
-Focus on Substance v Nonsense (bureaucratic rules, time lines, etc.) Mediation keeps people focused on what is important — their…
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Mediation in the Hamptons
-{6 minutes to read} Mediation is for everyone, from the most sophisticated families with the most complex finances to the…
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Trauma and Divorce: What Good Parents Need to Know (Part IV)
-{6 minutes to read} Why is the topic of trauma important in divorce? Why is it important to parents? What…
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Words that Harm and Words that Heal (Part III)
-{3 minutes to read} Words that Harm and Heal, Even well-meaning caregivers can miss or botch a critical opportunity to…
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What’s the Difference Between Hurt and Trauma? (Part I)
-{4 minutes to read} What’s the difference between hurt and trauma and why do divorcing parents need to know? Hurt…
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Making Sense of Alimony — Question 3
-{5 minutes to read} The current series of blogs is exploring three frequently asked questions regarding alimony. This article discusses…
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Making Sense of Alimony — Question 2
-{3 minutes to read} The current series of blogs is exploring three frequently asked questions regarding alimony. This article discusses…
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Making Sense of Alimony — Question 1
-{8 minutes to read} Few words in the English language are as loathed as the word “alimony.” Perhaps bankruptcy and…
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Are We as Modern as We Think? Gender Role Reversal in Divorce Doesn’t Necessarily Add Up.
-{4 minutes to read} What happens when the father is the stay-at-home spouse and the mother is the primary earner?…
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To See or Not to See: Discovery in Mediation
-{6 minutes to read} In divorce mediation, there are some things that must never be cloaked in mystery or veiled…
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Children: Damage by Divorce Is Not Mandated — Part 2
-{4 minutes to read} Building on the recent blog series called Three Parenting Mistakes Good Parents Make, this article turns…
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Children: Damage by Divorce is Not Mandated
-{3:30 minutes to read} A good divorce from a bad marriage may actually be better for children when the alternative…
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Divorce Mediation: Respect, Privacy, and Necessary Disclosure
-{5 minutes to read} As a mediator, there are subjects about which I would be remiss if I did not…
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Mediating in Mystery
-{3 minutes to read} How much personal information does your mediator need? Privacy Versus Transparency Every marriage is comprised of…
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Three Parenting Mistakes Good Parents Make — Mistake #3
-The Third Mistake parents make is speaking negatively about one another in front of their child. Let me widen the…
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Three Parenting Mistakes Good Parents Make — Mistake #1
-{5 minutes to read} Both married and divorced parents are capable of good and terrible parenting, and most parenting mistakes…
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Five Myths of Mediation
-{6 minutes to read} There are 5 common misbeliefs about mediation that may be preventing divorcing people from accessing this…
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Should Squirrels Have the Right of Way?
-{6 minutes to read} A friend of mine told me a little story about a woman he knew who had…
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What Robert Lee Can Teach Us About “ED” — And It Is Not What You Think
-{6 minutes to read} Words that end in “ed” often come up in couples therapy and divorce — I feel…
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Freedom From the Tyranny of Things
-{5 minutes to read} The other night, I saw a movie called Minimalism, and as I sorted through the thousands…
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Your Rights — Going Fast! Part 3
-{3 minutes to read} “In heaven we have justice. Here on earth, we have law.” So said my Torts Professor,…
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Your Rights — Going Fast! Part 2
-{4:30 minutes to read} The Ramifications (and Rants) The conundrum: our legal system has two opposing principles. First: it encourages…
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Your Rights — Going Fast! Part 1
-{5 minutes to read} Not receiving the relief promised in your Judgment of Divorce (JOD)? Spouse still hasn’t paid the…
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Focusing Attunement: The Inner Critic
-In this attunement we’re going to experiment with a first, deliberate interaction with our inner critic. This…
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How Could You Do That? The Inner Critic Speaks, and This Time We’re Listening
-“What were you thinking? Did you just say that? Out loud?” {8 minutes to read} That’s not a nice way…
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Holiday First Aid for Hurt Hearts
-{2 minutes to read} Divorce can reshape our holiday celebrations into something disordered, gloomy and sad. In the midst of…
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Your Brain on Divorce
-{4 minutes to read} The brain, dear brain, lights up with luminous ideas and cradles our treasured memories. That organ-control…
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Focusing Attunement: The 5 Foundations — Standing and Walking
-{4 minutes to read} It’s my pleasure to share the second of two attunements from a dear Focusing colleague, Jocelyn…
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Focusing Attunement: The 5 Foundations — Sitting
-{4 minutes to read} It’s my pleasure to share the first of two attunements from a dear Focusing colleague, Jocelyn…
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It’s Time for Another Paradigm Shift
-{5 minutes to read} We don’t necessarily need victims in order to be heroes. In divorce, it’s quite typical to…
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The New Face of Zealous Advocacy: Teamwork
-{5:42 minutes to read} The new face of zealous advocacy could be teamwork. Teamwork! Background Recently, I served as counsel…
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Does Your Attorney Fit Your Particular Genotype? Part II
-{4:12 minutes to read} In my last blog , I looked at…
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Does Your Attorney Fit Your Particular Genotype? Part I
-{3:12 minutes to read} Lawyers are like organs. They come in all shapes and sizes and have a purpose. However,…
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When it All Comes Down to the Blender: The Value of Personal Property in Divorce
-{6 minutes to read} Personal property, furnishings and personality are typically encompassed by the objects that reside in marital (and…
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Dissipation Revisited
-{6:36 minutes to read} Dissipation occurs when one spouse spends marital funds on something that has nothing to do with…
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Going In Doesn’t Mean Going Deep – Part I
-{3 minutes to read} What’s wonderful about focusing is that it can disabuse us of the misconception that ‘going in’…
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“Going In” Doesn’t Mean Going Deep – Part II
-{5 minutes to read} Part II picks up where we left off, providing the last three elements of how…
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Positive Psychology
-Balance the pH of Your Psyche with Positive Psychology and Focusing Positive psychology tells us that it only takes a…
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Why Open the Door? And Why Do You Still Have that Hideous Bedspread?
-{6 minutes to read} Avoidance. Numbing. Most of us are adept at coping through these mechanisms also called (by me…
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Inner Architecture — The Resource of Your Own Imagination
-Transcript of Attunement Just taking a moment to find a comfortable place to sit or stand. In this…
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A 3-Minute Attunement (Reconnecting Within)
-{2:30 minutes to read} 3-Minute Attunement Transcription Let’s begin by just slowing down. Finding a comfortable seat. Coming…
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A Triumph for the Best Interests of the Child
-The Overruling of Baures by the NJ Appellate Court {7:12 minutes to read} Relocation is among the most difficult family…
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What is an Attunement? (And is an Oil Change Included?)
-{4:30 minutes to read} A focusing session usually begins with a “lead-in” or something called an “attunement.” An attunement, much…
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If I Can Waive Alimony, Why Can’t I Waive Child Support?
-{5:45 minutes to read} If I can waive alimony, why can’t I waive child support? Fair question. Here’s why: Alimony…
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The Focus Oriented Divorce Has Arrived
-{2:30 minutes to read} I am pleased to announce the completion of my certification as a Focus Oriented Professional, and…
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Pathology Pointing: Why it Doesn’t Work in Divorce
-What is the difference between Pollyannaism and a Balanced Realism Approach? {4:36 minutes to read} Pathology Pointing Our western medical…
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Ungrateful and Pissed Off? A Curmudgeon’s Survival Guide for Thanksgiving
-{6:00 minutes to read} Don’t look now, but here comes Thanksgiving! When you are already in survival mode, a holiday…
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The “We Space”
-{4:12 minutes to read} The “we space” is what is created when two or more people are in a relationship.…
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Mindfulness and Mediation
-{3:30 minutes to read} In some spiritual practices, a bell sounds several times a day calling the observant to prayer.…
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Blame – Divorce’s Unfriendly Bedfellow Uncovered
-{5:06 minutes to read} Let’s lift the blind on blame. If blame had a whistle blower, what would he say?…
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To Mediate or Not to Mediate: The Question of Power Imbalance, Part III
-{3:42 minutes to read} Litigation and Power Imbalances DANGER! Safety is essential always, and certainly in mediation, where a degree…