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Well-Being

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Divorce
The Myth(?) of Monogamy
March 10, 2021 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4 minutes to read} The African proverb “It takes a village to raise a child” is well-established wisdom. We all…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Alphabet Soup for the Relational Soul – Part 2
February 23, 2021 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Like attach and attack, mediate and meditate are another pair of closely related words. The delighted expression of people first…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Alphabet Soup for the Relational Soul
December 18, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
What is in a word? A lot, I think. Although a rose by any name may smell just as sweet, I find that when I frequently bump into and miswrite the same particular words, it may be alerting me to something.

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Focusing
Feel Better for Real
November 25, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Age-old, and New Age, wisdom tells us that you get what you focus on. It’s practically common knowledge that the…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Love in the time of COVID
August 19, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
This week we bring you Love in the time of COVID, an article from the August/September issue of the Purist, a Hamptons,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
A COVID-19 Tale: From Social Isolation to Social Responsibility
April 22, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Recently, in this time of COVID-19, I had an experience which I’m sharing as I think it might be useful…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Relocating as Part of Divorce – Part 3
April 3, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3 minutes to read} As promised, here we are with our third and final installment on relocation in divorce. The…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Relocating as Part of Divorce — Part 2
March 17, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5 minutes to read} What Brings You Comfort in New Place? Relocation tips for the newly single, continued from our…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Relocating as Part of Divorce
March 4, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3 minutes to read} A lot of people who divorce find that it requires relocation. Relocating with children is a…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Children
Your Marriage Story — Loving Your Kids by Mediating Your Divorce
February 26, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5 minutes to read} …

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Trauma and Divorce: What Good Parents Need to Know (Part IV)
December 18, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6 minutes to read} Why is the topic of trauma important in divorce? Why is it important to parents? What…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Children
Words that Harm and Words that Heal (Part III)
December 4, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3 minutes to read} Words that Harm and Heal, Even well-meaning caregivers can miss or botch a critical opportunity to…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Preventing Trauma – A Guide (Part II)
November 18, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4 minutes to read} Because trauma is painful, complex and difficult to resolve, what can we do to prevent it?…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
What’s the Difference Between Hurt and Trauma? (Part I)
October 31, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4 minutes to read} What’s the difference between hurt and trauma and why do divorcing parents need to know? Hurt…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Why NOT to Retell the War Stories of Your Marriage
March 19, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4 minutes to read} For your own peace of mind and happiness, when it comes to divorce, don’t get too…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
What Robert Lee Can Teach Us About “ED” — And It Is Not What You Think
March 7, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6 minutes to read} Words that end in “ed” often come up in couples therapy and divorce — I feel…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Parenting
Freedom From the Tyranny of Things
February 20, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5 minutes to read} The other night, I saw a movie called Minimalism, and as I sorted through the thousands…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Focusing
Focusing Attunement: The Inner Critic
December 12, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
In this attunement we’re going to experiment with a first, deliberate interaction with our inner critic. This…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce General Well-Being
Holiday First Aid for Hurt Hearts
November 14, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{2 minutes to read} Divorce can reshape our holiday celebrations into something disordered, gloomy and sad. In the midst of…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Focusing
Focusing Attunement: The 5 Foundations — Standing and Walking
October 23, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4 minutes to read} It’s my pleasure to share the second of two attunements from a dear Focusing colleague, Jocelyn…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Focusing
Focusing Attunement: The 5 Foundations — Sitting
October 5, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4 minutes to read} It’s my pleasure to share the first of two attunements from a dear Focusing colleague, Jocelyn…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
It’s Time for Another Paradigm Shift
September 18, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5 minutes to read} We don’t necessarily need victims in order to be heroes. In divorce, it’s quite typical to…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Focusing
Going In Doesn’t Mean Going Deep – Part I
June 6, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3 minutes to read} What’s wonderful about focusing is that it can disabuse us of the misconception that ‘going in’…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Focusing
Positive Psychology
May 23, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Balance the pH of Your Psyche with Positive Psychology and Focusing Positive psychology tells us that it only takes a…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Focusing
Why Open the Door? And Why Do You Still Have that Hideous Bedspread?
May 10, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6 minutes to read} Avoidance. Numbing. Most of us are adept at coping through these mechanisms also called (by me…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Focusing General Well-Being
Inner Architecture — The Resource of Your Own Imagination
April 26, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Transcript of Attunement Just taking a moment to find a comfortable place to sit or stand. In this…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Focusing
A 3-Minute Attunement (Reconnecting Within)
March 26, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{2:30 minutes to read} 3-Minute Attunement Transcription Let’s begin by just slowing down. Finding a comfortable seat. Coming…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
General
What is an Attunement? (And is an Oil Change Included?)
February 14, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:30 minutes to read} A focusing session usually begins with a “lead-in” or something called an “attunement.” An attunement, much…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Ungrateful and Pissed Off? A Curmudgeon’s Survival Guide for Thanksgiving
November 20, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6:00 minutes to read} Don’t look now, but here comes Thanksgiving! When you are already in survival mode, a holiday…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Focusing
Mindfulness and “Self-in-Presence”: A Tool for Divorce Mediation?
October 11, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5:18 minutes to read} How do we get present? Last time we looked at the importance of mindfulness and getting…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Focusing
Mindfulness and Mediation
October 3, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3:30 minutes to read} In some spiritual practices, a bell sounds several times a day calling the observant to prayer.…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Focusing
Curiosity: The Little Word that Could
November 22, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5:80 minutes to read} Curiosity: A simple word that can unlock possibilities, shift paradigms, and free us from the…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Rachel “Andy Rooney” Alexander—An Op-Ed Blog
July 26, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3:18 minutes to read} Why is everything so truncated and terrible these days? Why can’t we have something that works…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Divorce: Know When to Hold ‘Em, Know When to Fold ‘Em
July 12, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5:36 minutes to read} Recently, a young man, Dave*, called the office, reeling from the discovery of his wife’s infidelity…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Ode to Validation: The Actual Contents of the Milk of Human Kindness
May 31, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
The Path to Validation Is Through Our Ears {6:48 minutes to read} Validation is the yeast of a marriage. Without…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Validation—How We Speak Is How We Love
May 17, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:24 minutes to read} There is a saying that goes, “In heaven, there’s no talking, because men invented heaven.” OK,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
How a Divorce Support Group Can Help You
January 5, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Getting a divorce could have a profound impact on the rest of your life. Going through a divorce alone is…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
The Big Freeze: Overcoming Inertia What To Do When You Can’t Do A Thing
May 14, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Everyone’s heard of fight or flight, but what about freeze? One of our responses to fear is freezing which is…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Find Solid Ground In Rough Waters: The Usefulness Of Goals
April 17, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Sometimes a clear goal can work like a life preserver, pulling you through tumultuous waters onto the safety of solid…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
January 30, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
A woman I know has been trying to decide what she should do about her marriage. She has a love…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
The Power Of “I Don’t Know”
January 15, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
“Whoever cannot seek the unforeseen sees nothing, for the known way is an impasse.” Heraclitus There is nothing like divorce…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
What’s Your Story? Here’s Mine.
December 12, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Years ago, when I went through my own divorce, I found myself at sea (alone and on a rather shoddy…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
It’s A Matter Of Time …
November 27, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Here it is – some empirical proof that things really do shake out after divorce. Not only does this Wall Street…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
4 Tips To Let The Light In But Keep The Bugs Out
November 14, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Are you the kind of person whose first thought when something goes awry is, “What did I do wrong?” If…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Two Canine Commands That Are Worthy Of Us All
October 31, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Certain dog commands are brilliant, simple and wise. They have poignancy and relevance for us all. These commands can be…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Why God Is In The Details
October 21, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
In life as in everything else, there is a place for the big picture approach, but there is also a…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Spaghetti? Murder Mysteries? Ben & Jerry’s? What Is Your Favorite Coping Strategy?
October 3, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
What coping skills do professionals recommend to clients going through divorce or other crises? Which should be utilized and which…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Gratitude
September 20, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
As our Jewish brethren welcome the New Year, it’s a good opportunity to reflect on what we have to be…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Creating Stability In A Time Of Transition – Part 2
September 4, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Part 1 of this series focused on how to create stability in your life when going through a disruptive time…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Creating Stability In A Time Of Transition – Part 1
August 21, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
There are few things more terrifying than the unknown. We want to feel like we have our feet under us…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Stress and Divorce, Part 2
August 7, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
When acutely stressed, we first want to turn to our bodies, which provide the pathway into the part of our…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Why Is Managing Stress During Divorce So Important? Part 1
July 25, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
We all experience stress from time to time, but when we find ourselves experiencing unrelenting anxiety it may be our…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Facing Divorce and Feeling Overwhelmed?
July 10, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
In most “traditional” marriages, there is a division of labor. One party typically is in charge of paying the bills,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Inner Dialogue: The Foundation Of Compassionate
June 26, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
“Compassionate toward yourself, you reconcile all beings in the world.” Lao Tzu , Tao Te Ching We begin, always, with…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Managing Our Emotions
June 12, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Managing our emotions may be one of adulthood’s major challenges. How well we are able to self-soothe defines at least…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Learning To Let Go
May 29, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
The principle of letting go is worth wrestling with. It’s a wonderful concept, and yet, unlike breathing, and other behaviors…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Finance
Your Divorce And Your Health [Insurance]
April 30, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Health care coverage – or lack thereof – may be one of the most daunting issues facing divorcing couples. Fortunately,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
If It’s Not Working, Acknowledge It And Move On
February 18, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
It seems to be a human tendency, upon discovering that something is not working, to cling to it for dear…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
A Happier New Year – 2013
January 10, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
The New Year brings the opportunity to look ahead with a clean slate. For divorcing couples this can be an…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Five Things Divorcing Couples Need To Know – Part 2
October 18, 2012 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Part 1 of this article reprint covered the first two things that divorcing couples need to know to help themselves…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Five Things Divorcing Couples Need To Know – Part 1
October 1, 2012 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
I have the greatest respect for people facing divorce. I know first hand, heart and head, the courage one must…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Five Things Divorcing Couples Need To Know
April 26, 2011 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
I have the greatest respect for people facing divorce. I know first hand, heart and head, the courage one must…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
A Happier New Year
January 1, 2011 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
The New Year brings with it the opportunity to look ahead to a clean slate. For divorcing couples this can…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.