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Four Things No One Tells You About Divorce (and What You Need to Know Now) Part 3
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Four Things No One Tells You About Divorce (and What You Need to Know Now) Part 2
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Four Things No One Tells You About Divorce (and What You Need to Know Now) Part 1
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How Can I Co-Parent When I Don’t Trust My Ex-Spouse? Part II
-{7 minutes to read} In Part I of this article we examine the complex situation of shared custody with an…
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A Happier New Year — 2022
-The New Year brings the opportunity to look ahead with a clean slate. For divorcing couples this can be an…
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Alphabet Soup for the Relational Soul – Part 2
-Like attach and attack, mediate and meditate are another pair of closely related words. The delighted expression of people first…
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Alphabet Soup for the Relational Soul
-What is in a word? A lot, I think. Although a rose by any name may smell just as sweet, I find that when I frequently bump into and miswrite the same particular words, it may be alerting me to something.
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Feel Better for Real
-Age-old, and New Age, wisdom tells us that you get what you focus on. It’s practically common knowledge that the…
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Love in the time of COVID
-This week we bring you Love in the time of COVID, an article from the August/September issue of the Purist, a Hamptons,…
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Relocating as Part of Divorce – Part 3
-{3 minutes to read} As promised, here we are with our third and final installment on relocation in divorce. The…
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Relocating as Part of Divorce — Part 2
-{5 minutes to read} What Brings You Comfort in New Place? Relocation tips for the newly single, continued from our…
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Relocating as Part of Divorce
-{3 minutes to read} A lot of people who divorce find that it requires relocation. Relocating with children is a…
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Trauma and Divorce: What Good Parents Need to Know (Part IV)
-{6 minutes to read} Why is the topic of trauma important in divorce? Why is it important to parents? What…
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Words that Harm and Words that Heal (Part III)
-{3 minutes to read} Words that Harm and Heal, Even well-meaning caregivers can miss or botch a critical opportunity to…
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What’s the Difference Between Hurt and Trauma? (Part I)
-{4 minutes to read} What’s the difference between hurt and trauma and why do divorcing parents need to know? Hurt…
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What Robert Lee Can Teach Us About “ED” — And It Is Not What You Think
-{6 minutes to read} Words that end in “ed” often come up in couples therapy and divorce — I feel…
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Freedom From the Tyranny of Things
-{5 minutes to read} The other night, I saw a movie called Minimalism, and as I sorted through the thousands…
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Focusing Attunement: The Inner Critic
-In this attunement we’re going to experiment with a first, deliberate interaction with our inner critic. This…
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Holiday First Aid for Hurt Hearts
-{2 minutes to read} Divorce can reshape our holiday celebrations into something disordered, gloomy and sad. In the midst of…
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Focusing Attunement: The 5 Foundations — Standing and Walking
-{4 minutes to read} It’s my pleasure to share the second of two attunements from a dear Focusing colleague, Jocelyn…
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Focusing Attunement: The 5 Foundations — Sitting
-{4 minutes to read} It’s my pleasure to share the first of two attunements from a dear Focusing colleague, Jocelyn…
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It’s Time for Another Paradigm Shift
-{5 minutes to read} We don’t necessarily need victims in order to be heroes. In divorce, it’s quite typical to…
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Going In Doesn’t Mean Going Deep – Part I
-{3 minutes to read} What’s wonderful about focusing is that it can disabuse us of the misconception that ‘going in’…
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Positive Psychology
-Balance the pH of Your Psyche with Positive Psychology and Focusing Positive psychology tells us that it only takes a…
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Why Open the Door? And Why Do You Still Have that Hideous Bedspread?
-{6 minutes to read} Avoidance. Numbing. Most of us are adept at coping through these mechanisms also called (by me…
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Inner Architecture — The Resource of Your Own Imagination
-Transcript of Attunement Just taking a moment to find a comfortable place to sit or stand. In this…
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A 3-Minute Attunement (Reconnecting Within)
-{2:30 minutes to read} 3-Minute Attunement Transcription Let’s begin by just slowing down. Finding a comfortable seat. Coming…
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What is an Attunement? (And is an Oil Change Included?)
-{4:30 minutes to read} A focusing session usually begins with a “lead-in” or something called an “attunement.” An attunement, much…
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Ungrateful and Pissed Off? A Curmudgeon’s Survival Guide for Thanksgiving
-{6:00 minutes to read} Don’t look now, but here comes Thanksgiving! When you are already in survival mode, a holiday…
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Mindfulness and Mediation
-{3:30 minutes to read} In some spiritual practices, a bell sounds several times a day calling the observant to prayer.…
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Curiosity: The Little Word that Could
-{5:80 minutes to read} Curiosity: A simple word that can unlock possibilities, shift paradigms, and free us from the…
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Rachel “Andy Rooney” Alexander—An Op-Ed Blog
-{3:18 minutes to read} Why is everything so truncated and terrible these days? Why can’t we have something that works…
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Divorce: Know When to Hold ‘Em, Know When to Fold ‘Em
-{5:36 minutes to read} Recently, a young man, Dave*, called the office, reeling from the discovery of his wife’s infidelity…
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Ode to Validation: The Actual Contents of the Milk of Human Kindness
-The Path to Validation Is Through Our Ears {6:48 minutes to read} Validation is the yeast of a marriage. Without…
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Validation—How We Speak Is How We Love
-{4:24 minutes to read} There is a saying that goes, “In heaven, there’s no talking, because men invented heaven.” OK,…
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How a Divorce Support Group Can Help You
-Getting a divorce could have a profound impact on the rest of your life. Going through a divorce alone is…
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The Big Freeze: Overcoming Inertia What To Do When You Can’t Do A Thing
-Everyone’s heard of fight or flight, but what about freeze? One of our responses to fear is freezing which is…
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Find Solid Ground In Rough Waters: The Usefulness Of Goals
-Sometimes a clear goal can work like a life preserver, pulling you through tumultuous waters onto the safety of solid…
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Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
-A woman I know has been trying to decide what she should do about her marriage. She has a love…
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The Power Of “I Don’t Know”
-“Whoever cannot seek the unforeseen sees nothing, for the known way is an impasse.” Heraclitus There is nothing like divorce…
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What’s Your Story? Here’s Mine.
-Years ago, when I went through my own divorce, I found myself at sea (alone and on a rather shoddy…
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It’s A Matter Of Time …
-Here it is – some empirical proof that things really do shake out after divorce. Not only does this Wall Street…
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4 Tips To Let The Light In But Keep The Bugs Out
-Are you the kind of person whose first thought when something goes awry is, “What did I do wrong?” If…
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Two Canine Commands That Are Worthy Of Us All
-Certain dog commands are brilliant, simple and wise. They have poignancy and relevance for us all. These commands can be…
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Why God Is In The Details
-In life as in everything else, there is a place for the big picture approach, but there is also a…
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Spaghetti? Murder Mysteries? Ben & Jerry’s? What Is Your Favorite Coping Strategy?
-What coping skills do professionals recommend to clients going through divorce or other crises? Which should be utilized and which…
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Gratitude
-As our Jewish brethren welcome the New Year, it’s a good opportunity to reflect on what we have to be…
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Creating Stability In A Time Of Transition – Part 2
-Part 1 of this series focused on how to create stability in your life when going through a disruptive time…
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Creating Stability In A Time Of Transition – Part 1
-There are few things more terrifying than the unknown. We want to feel like we have our feet under us…
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Stress and Divorce, Part 2
-When acutely stressed, we first want to turn to our bodies, which provide the pathway into the part of our…
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Why Is Managing Stress During Divorce So Important? Part 1
-We all experience stress from time to time, but when we find ourselves experiencing unrelenting anxiety it may be our…
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Facing Divorce and Feeling Overwhelmed?
-In most “traditional” marriages, there is a division of labor. One party typically is in charge of paying the bills,…
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Inner Dialogue: The Foundation Of Compassionate
-“Compassionate toward yourself, you reconcile all beings in the world.” Lao Tzu , Tao Te Ching We begin, always, with…
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Managing Our Emotions
-Managing our emotions may be one of adulthood’s major challenges. How well we are able to self-soothe defines at least…
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Learning To Let Go
-The principle of letting go is worth wrestling with. It’s a wonderful concept, and yet, unlike breathing, and other behaviors…
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Your Divorce And Your Health [Insurance]
-Health care coverage – or lack thereof – may be one of the most daunting issues facing divorcing couples. Fortunately,…
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If It’s Not Working, Acknowledge It And Move On
-It seems to be a human tendency, upon discovering that something is not working, to cling to it for dear…
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A Happier New Year – 2013
-The New Year brings the opportunity to look ahead with a clean slate. For divorcing couples this can be an…
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Five Things Divorcing Couples Need To Know – Part 2
-Part 1 of this article reprint covered the first two things that divorcing couples need to know to help themselves…
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Five Things Divorcing Couples Need To Know – Part 1
-I have the greatest respect for people facing divorce. I know first hand, heart and head, the courage one must…
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Five Things Divorcing Couples Need To Know
-I have the greatest respect for people facing divorce. I know first hand, heart and head, the courage one must…
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A Happier New Year
-The New Year brings with it the opportunity to look ahead to a clean slate. For divorcing couples this can…