-
Four Things No One Tells You About Divorce (and What You Need to Know Now) Part 3
-{4 minutes to read} …
00 -
Four Things No One Tells You About Divorce (and What You Need to Know Now) Part 2
-{5 minutes to read}…
-
Four Things No One Tells You About Divorce (and What You Need to Know Now) Part 1
-{5 minutes to read} …
-
How Can I Co-Parent When I Don’t Trust My Ex-Spouse? Part II
-{7 minutes to read} In Part I of this article we examine the complex situation of shared custody with an…
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
A Happier New Year — 2022
-The New Year brings the opportunity to look ahead with a clean slate. For divorcing couples this can be an…
-
-
An Introduction to Divorce Mediation and Your Finances (Free Online Workshop)
-Hosted by Kelli Lanino, CDFA® , and…
-
-
-
Alphabet Soup for the Relational Soul – Part 2
-Like attach and attack, mediate and meditate are another pair of closely related words. The delighted expression of people first…
-
The Lies Divorcing People Tell … And What to Do About Them
-{4 minutes to read} Early conversations about divorce can be inflammatory and emotional. In fact, they often are not conversations…
-
Mediation Questions to Consider
-{7 minutes to read} Clients often ask what can they do to prepare for mediation. This article concerns itself with questions mediation candidates might use to prepare for mediation — not so much regarding collecting this receipt or that statement, but in a more comprehensive and holistic way —
-
Alphabet Soup for the Relational Soul
-What is in a word? A lot, I think. Although a rose by any name may smell just as sweet, I find that when I frequently bump into and miswrite the same particular words, it may be alerting me to something.
-
Married or Divorced: Are There Any Other Options?
-{6 minutes to read} A dear friend of mine has a saying from his Irish grandfather: Married or not: you’ll…
-
Re-Entering the Workforce Post Divorce Part 4 of 4
-{5 minutes to read} Katherine Kirkinis, ED.M., M.A. of Wanderlust Careers, our friend and consultant on this series, routinely works…
-
-
-
Re-Entering the Workforce Post Divorce Part I of 4
-{3 minutes to read} Reentering the workforce can be among the most daunting tasks arising out of a divorce. Typically…
-
-
Love in the time of COVID
-This week we bring you Love in the time of COVID, an article from the August/September issue of the Purist, a Hamptons,…
-
Who Ya Gonna Call? The Mediator!
-{6 minutes to read} Help Often people get stuck, flailing about for weeks or decades, trying to figure out what…
-
What Divorcing Couples Need to Know About Real Property
-{5 minutes to read} Whether married or divorcing in New York or New Jersey, couples are well advised to familiarize…
-
Mediating Your Divorce Online: From Home
-{6 minutes to read} The Challenges and Gifts of On-Line Divorce Mediation Mediating from Home Divorce is discomforting. Traversing divorce…
-
-
Relocating as Part of Divorce – Part 3
-{3 minutes to read} As promised, here we are with our third and final installment on relocation in divorce. The…
-
Relocating as Part of Divorce — Part 2
-{5 minutes to read} What Brings You Comfort in New Place? Relocation tips for the newly single, continued from our…
-
Relocating as Part of Divorce
-{3 minutes to read} A lot of people who divorce find that it requires relocation. Relocating with children is a…
-
-
Mediation in the Hamptons Part 2
-Focus on Substance v Nonsense (bureaucratic rules, time lines, etc.) Mediation keeps people focused on what is important — their…
-
Mediation in the Hamptons
-{6 minutes to read} Mediation is for everyone, from the most sophisticated families with the most complex finances to the…
-
Trauma and Divorce: What Good Parents Need to Know (Part IV)
-{6 minutes to read} Why is the topic of trauma important in divorce? Why is it important to parents? What…
-
Words that Harm and Words that Heal (Part III)
-{3 minutes to read} Words that Harm and Heal, Even well-meaning caregivers can miss or botch a critical opportunity to…
-
What’s the Difference Between Hurt and Trauma? (Part I)
-{4 minutes to read} What’s the difference between hurt and trauma and why do divorcing parents need to know? Hurt…
-
Making Sense of Alimony — Question 2
-{3 minutes to read} The current series of blogs is exploring three frequently asked questions regarding alimony. This article discusses…
-
Making Sense of Alimony — Question 1
-{8 minutes to read} Few words in the English language are as loathed as the word “alimony.” Perhaps bankruptcy and…
-
Are We as Modern as We Think? Gender Role Reversal in Divorce Doesn’t Necessarily Add Up.
-{4 minutes to read} What happens when the father is the stay-at-home spouse and the mother is the primary earner?…
-
To See or Not to See: Discovery in Mediation
-{6 minutes to read} In divorce mediation, there are some things that must never be cloaked in mystery or veiled…
-
Children: Damage by Divorce Is Not Mandated — Part 2
-{4 minutes to read} Building on the recent blog series called Three Parenting Mistakes Good Parents Make, this article turns…
-
Children: Damage by Divorce is Not Mandated
-{3:30 minutes to read} A good divorce from a bad marriage may actually be better for children when the alternative…
-
Divorce Mediation: Respect, Privacy, and Necessary Disclosure
-{5 minutes to read} As a mediator, there are subjects about which I would be remiss if I did not…
-
Three Parenting Mistakes Good Parents Make — Mistake #3
-The Third Mistake parents make is speaking negatively about one another in front of their child. Let me widen the…
-
Three Parenting Mistakes Good Parents Make — Mistake #1
-{5 minutes to read} Both married and divorced parents are capable of good and terrible parenting, and most parenting mistakes…
-
Five Myths of Mediation
-{6 minutes to read} There are 5 common misbeliefs about mediation that may be preventing divorcing people from accessing this…
-
Should Squirrels Have the Right of Way?
-{6 minutes to read} A friend of mine told me a little story about a woman he knew who had…
-
What Robert Lee Can Teach Us About “ED” — And It Is Not What You Think
-{6 minutes to read} Words that end in “ed” often come up in couples therapy and divorce — I feel…
-
Your Rights — Going Fast! Part 3
-{3 minutes to read} “In heaven we have justice. Here on earth, we have law.” So said my Torts Professor,…
-
Your Rights — Going Fast! Part 2
-{4:30 minutes to read} The Ramifications (and Rants) The conundrum: our legal system has two opposing principles. First: it encourages…
-
Your Rights — Going Fast! Part 1
-{5 minutes to read} Not receiving the relief promised in your Judgment of Divorce (JOD)? Spouse still hasn’t paid the…
-
Holiday First Aid for Hurt Hearts
-{2 minutes to read} Divorce can reshape our holiday celebrations into something disordered, gloomy and sad. In the midst of…
-
Your Brain on Divorce
-{4 minutes to read} The brain, dear brain, lights up with luminous ideas and cradles our treasured memories. That organ-control…
-
It’s Time for Another Paradigm Shift
-{5 minutes to read} We don’t necessarily need victims in order to be heroes. In divorce, it’s quite typical to…
-
The New Face of Zealous Advocacy: Teamwork
-{5:42 minutes to read} The new face of zealous advocacy could be teamwork. Teamwork! Background Recently, I served as counsel…
-
Does Your Attorney Fit Your Particular Genotype? Part II
-{4:12 minutes to read} In my last blog , I looked at…
-
Does Your Attorney Fit Your Particular Genotype? Part I
-{3:12 minutes to read} Lawyers are like organs. They come in all shapes and sizes and have a purpose. However,…
-
When it All Comes Down to the Blender: The Value of Personal Property in Divorce
-{6 minutes to read} Personal property, furnishings and personality are typically encompassed by the objects that reside in marital (and…
-
Dissipation Revisited
-{6:36 minutes to read} Dissipation occurs when one spouse spends marital funds on something that has nothing to do with…
-
A Triumph for the Best Interests of the Child
-The Overruling of Baures by the NJ Appellate Court {7:12 minutes to read} Relocation is among the most difficult family…
-
The Focus Oriented Divorce Has Arrived
-{2:30 minutes to read} I am pleased to announce the completion of my certification as a Focus Oriented Professional, and…
-
Pathology Pointing: Why it Doesn’t Work in Divorce
-What is the difference between Pollyannaism and a Balanced Realism Approach? {4:36 minutes to read} Pathology Pointing Our western medical…
-
Ungrateful and Pissed Off? A Curmudgeon’s Survival Guide for Thanksgiving
-{6:00 minutes to read} Don’t look now, but here comes Thanksgiving! When you are already in survival mode, a holiday…
-
The “We Space”
-{4:12 minutes to read} The “we space” is what is created when two or more people are in a relationship.…
-
Blame – Divorce’s Unfriendly Bedfellow Uncovered
-{5:06 minutes to read} Let’s lift the blind on blame. If blame had a whistle blower, what would he say?…
-
Happy to Announce…
-{3:12 minutes to read} I am pleased to announce that on June 22, 2017, I became of counsel to the firm…
-
“Someday” and “Maybe” Numbers: The Challenge of Dividing Retirement Assets Part 3
-{4:00 minutes to read} In Part 2, we discussed marital vs non-marital retirement assets and how some of those assets…
-
“Someday” and “Maybe” Numbers: The Challenge of Dividing Retirement Assets – Part 2
-{4:00 minutes to read} Just because we determine a value for something does not mean we divide it! Often spouses…
-
“Someday” and “Maybe” Numbers: The Challenge of Dividing Retirement Assets – Part 1
-{2:48 minutes to read} “Hands off,” decries one spouse, “I worked for this, not you. Back off, you lazy sot!”…
-
Anger & Vitriol – and What to Do About Them in Divorce
-{6:12 minutes to read) Yes, you’re mad as hell and you’re not gonna take it anymore! That’s what divorce is…
-
The Mediator Will See You Now…
-{4:18 minutes to read} Often, with the best intentions, clients prepare for mediation by trying to resolve as many things…
-
Sundays, Bloody Sundays
-{4:42 minutes to read} Sundays are not known to be the bright spot of the week. Sundays, especially Sunday evenings,…
-
Is There Room For Other Professionals in Mediation?
-{3:18 minutes to read} People going through divorce often discover they need more help than they initially imagined. Not only…
-
Why Do People Get Divorced?
-{6:12 minutes to read} First, it should be said, no one divorces lightly. No one has ever walked into my…
-
How Do We Understand Family During Divorce?
-{4:18 minutes to read} How do we understand family in a way that’s useful during divorce? First, it’s helpful to…
-
Are We There Yet? (Or How Long Does Divorce Mediation Take?)
-{4:00 minutes to read} How long is this going to take? When can we get this over with? When people…
-
What Are We Celebrating Here?
-{3:54 minutes to read} The holidays, now encroaching practically on back-to-school week, are here again. For many, ringing in the…
-
What is a Family?
-{4:06 minutes to read} Recently, a mediation client exclaimed, “I want to stay married. I want us to still be…
-
It Takes 2, Baby!? Or, What Happens When Only One Person Wants the Divorce?
-{6:48 minutes to read} In New Jersey, divorce requires only one willing party. So what about the other party? The…
-
How to Save Money and Affirm Life by Mediating Your Divorce
-{4:24 minutes to read} No one wants to spend more money than absolutely necessary on their divorce. No one has…
-
Divorce: Know When to Hold ‘Em, Know When to Fold ‘Em
-{5:36 minutes to read} Recently, a young man, Dave*, called the office, reeling from the discovery of his wife’s infidelity…
-
Why People Divorce: The Breakdown That Precedes the Breakup
-{4:12 minutes to read} As a divorce mediator, I’m often asked: Why do people get divorced? What went wrong? Money…
-
The Dissipation of Marital Assets
-{4:31 minutes to read} Dissipation of marital assets is an important topic arising in matrimonial law and mediation. Towards the…
-
What Is ESP in New Jersey, and Do You Need a 6th Sense to Benefit?
-{5:36 minutes to read} When divorcing couples are on the (complex) litigation track, at a certain point in the process,…
-
What Makes Divorce so Scary?
-One of my tasks as a New Jersey and New York mediator is to normalize my clients lives as they…
-
The Principal And The Practical
-Often when people are unable to move through conflict, it is because they are adhering to what they believe is…
-
What Divorce Can And Can’t Do
-This week I spoke with a gentleman who, during a 22-year marriage, amassed a considerable pension. His wife, on the…
-
-
Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
-A woman I know has been trying to decide what she should do about her marriage. She has a love…