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Communication
The Good News About Infidelity — The Present: Phase 2
May 13, 2022 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{2 minutes to read}…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
The Good News About Infidelity – The Present: Part 1, Phase 1
April 21, 2022 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4 minutes to read} …

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Gottman — “Oh S^%&T, Your Marriage is in Trou-ble”
April 6, 2022 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5 minutes to read} …

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Is This Marriage Viable?
March 16, 2022 - by Rachel Alexander
{4 minutes to read} …

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Rachel Alexander
Divorce
A Happier New Year — 2022
January 6, 2022 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
The New Year brings the opportunity to look ahead with a clean slate. For divorcing couples this can be an…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
An Unlikely Pair – A Lesson for Us All
December 14, 2021 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
An Introduction to Divorce Mediation and Your Finances (Free Online Workshop)
April 23, 2021 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Hosted by Kelli Lanino, CDFA® , and…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Conflict Unusual — A New Way Forward, Together
April 15, 2021 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{7 minutes to read} …

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
The Myth(?) of Monogamy
March 10, 2021 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Alphabet Soup for the Relational Soul – Part 2
February 23, 2021 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Like attach and attack, mediate and meditate are another pair of closely related words. The delighted expression of people first…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
The Lies Divorcing People Tell … and What to Do About Them – Part 2
February 10, 2021 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Lies – What to Do About them If we agree to expect that our own bad behavior and that of…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
The Lies Divorcing People Tell … And What to Do About Them
January 27, 2021 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4 minutes to read} Early conversations about divorce can be inflammatory and emotional. In fact, they often are not conversations…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Mediation Questions to Consider
January 6, 2021 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{7 minutes to read} Clients often ask what can they do to prepare for mediation. This article concerns itself with questions mediation candidates might use to prepare for mediation — not so much regarding collecting this receipt or that statement, but in a more comprehensive and holistic way —

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Alphabet Soup for the Relational Soul
December 18, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
What is in a word? A lot, I think. Although a rose by any name may smell just as sweet, I find that when I frequently bump into and miswrite the same particular words, it may be alerting me to something.

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Married or Divorced: Are There Any Other Options?
November 12, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6 minutes to read} A dear friend of mine has a saying from his Irish grandfather: Married or not: you’ll…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Re-Entering the Workforce Post Divorce Part 4 of 4
November 3, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5 minutes to read} Katherine Kirkinis, ED.M., M.A. of Wanderlust Careers, our friend and consultant on this series, routinely works…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Re-Entering the Workforce Post Divorce Part 3 of 4
October 15, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
The Brilliance of a…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Re-Entering the Workforce Post Divorce Part 2 of 4
October 1, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5 minutes to read} …

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Re-Entering the Workforce Post Divorce Part I of 4
September 16, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3 minutes to read} Reentering the workforce can be among the most daunting tasks arising out of a divorce. Typically…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
A Murky Place
September 2, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6 minutes to read} …

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Love in the time of COVID
August 19, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
This week we bring you Love in the time of COVID, an article from the August/September issue of the Purist, a Hamptons,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Who Ya Gonna Call? The Mediator!
August 6, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6 minutes to read} Help Often people get stuck, flailing about for weeks or decades, trying to figure out what…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
What Divorcing Couples Need to Know About Real Property – Part 2
July 22, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
What Happens to Co-Owned Property Upon Divorce? What do Married/Divorcing People Need to Know? {3 minutes to read} Married people…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
What Divorcing Couples Need to Know About Real Property
July 8, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5 minutes to read} Whether married or divorcing in New York or New Jersey, couples are well advised to familiarize…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Mediating Your Divorce Online: From Home
May 28, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6 minutes to read} The Challenges and Gifts of On-Line Divorce Mediation Mediating from Home Divorce is discomforting. Traversing divorce…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Mediating Your Divorce Online: Tackling Technology
May 20, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5 minutes to read}…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Mediating Your Divorce Online: A Good Option in this Time of Court Closures and Social Distancing
May 8, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4 minutes to read} In the midst of the Covid crisis, what are divorcing couples — and would-be divorcing couples…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Relocating as Part of Divorce – Part 3
April 3, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3 minutes to read} As promised, here we are with our third and final installment on relocation in divorce. The…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Relocating as Part of Divorce — Part 2
March 17, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5 minutes to read} What Brings You Comfort in New Place? Relocation tips for the newly single, continued from our…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Relocating as Part of Divorce
March 4, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3 minutes to read} A lot of people who divorce find that it requires relocation. Relocating with children is a…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Children
Your Marriage Story — Loving Your Kids by Mediating Your Divorce
February 26, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5 minutes to read} …

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Mediation in the Hamptons Part 2
January 23, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Focus on Substance v Nonsense (bureaucratic rules, time lines, etc.) Mediation keeps people focused on what is important — their…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Mediation in the Hamptons
January 8, 2020 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6 minutes to read} Mediation is for everyone, from the most sophisticated families with the most complex finances to the…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Trauma and Divorce: What Good Parents Need to Know (Part IV)
December 18, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6 minutes to read} Why is the topic of trauma important in divorce? Why is it important to parents? What…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Children
Words that Harm and Words that Heal (Part III)
December 4, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3 minutes to read} Words that Harm and Heal, Even well-meaning caregivers can miss or botch a critical opportunity to…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Preventing Trauma – A Guide (Part II)
November 18, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4 minutes to read} Because trauma is painful, complex and difficult to resolve, what can we do to prevent it?…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
What’s the Difference Between Hurt and Trauma? (Part I)
October 31, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4 minutes to read} What’s the difference between hurt and trauma and why do divorcing parents need to know? Hurt…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Making Sense of Alimony — Question 2
October 1, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3 minutes to read} The current series of blogs is exploring three frequently asked questions regarding alimony. This article discusses…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Making Sense of Alimony — Question 1
September 15, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{8 minutes to read} Few words in the English language are as loathed as the word “alimony.” Perhaps bankruptcy and…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Are We as Modern as We Think? Gender Role Reversal in Divorce Doesn’t Necessarily Add Up.
September 5, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4 minutes to read} What happens when the father is the stay-at-home spouse and the mother is the primary earner?…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
To See or Not to See: Discovery in Mediation
August 21, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6 minutes to read} In divorce mediation, there are some things that must never be cloaked in mystery or veiled…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Children: Damage by Divorce Is Not Mandated — Part 2
August 7, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4 minutes to read} Building on the recent blog series called Three Parenting Mistakes Good Parents Make, this article turns…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Children
Children: Damage by Divorce is Not Mandated
July 25, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3:30 minutes to read} A good divorce from a bad marriage may actually be better for children when the alternative…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Divorce Mediation: Respect, Privacy, and Necessary Disclosure
July 9, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5 minutes to read} As a mediator, there are subjects about which I would be remiss if I did not…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Children
Three Parenting Mistakes Good Parents Make — Mistake #3
June 5, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
The Third Mistake parents make is speaking negatively about one another in front of their child. Let me widen the…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Children
Three Parenting Mistakes Good Parents Make: Mistake #2
May 15, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3 minutes to read} Parents are tasked with becoming artful navigators. They must maintain the role of authority, decision-maker, and caretaker…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Three Parenting Mistakes Good Parents Make — Mistake #1
May 1, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5 minutes to read} Both married and divorced parents are capable of good and terrible parenting, and most parenting mistakes…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Five Myths of Mediation
April 17, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6 minutes to read} There are 5 common misbeliefs about mediation that may be preventing divorcing people from accessing this…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Children
Should Squirrels Have the Right of Way?
April 3, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6 minutes to read} A friend of mine told me a little story about a woman he knew who had…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
What Robert Lee Can Teach Us About “ED” — And It Is Not What You Think
March 7, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6 minutes to read} Words that end in “ed” often come up in couples therapy and divorce — I feel…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Your Rights — Going Fast! Part 3
February 12, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3 minutes to read} “In heaven we have justice. Here on earth, we have law.” So said my Torts Professor,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Your Rights — Going Fast! Part 2
January 23, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:30 minutes to read} The Ramifications (and Rants) The conundrum: our legal system has two opposing principles. First: it encourages…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Your Rights — Going Fast! Part 1
January 9, 2019 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5 minutes to read} Not receiving the relief promised in your Judgment of Divorce (JOD)? Spouse still hasn’t paid the…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce General Well-Being
Holiday First Aid for Hurt Hearts
November 14, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{2 minutes to read} Divorce can reshape our holiday celebrations into something disordered, gloomy and sad. In the midst of…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Your Brain on Divorce
October 30, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4 minutes to read} The brain, dear brain, lights up with luminous ideas and cradles our treasured memories. That organ-control…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
It’s Time for Another Paradigm Shift
September 18, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5 minutes to read} We don’t necessarily need victims in order to be heroes. In divorce, it’s quite typical to…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
The New Face of Zealous Advocacy: Teamwork
September 5, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5:42 minutes to read} The new face of zealous advocacy could be teamwork. Teamwork! Background Recently, I served as counsel…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Does Your Attorney Fit Your Particular Genotype? Part II
August 22, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:12 minutes to read} In my last blog , I looked at…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Does Your Attorney Fit Your Particular Genotype? Part I
August 8, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3:12 minutes to read} Lawyers are like organs. They come in all shapes and sizes and have a purpose. However,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
When it All Comes Down to the Blender: The Value of Personal Property in Divorce
July 26, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6 minutes to read} Personal property, furnishings and personality are typically encompassed by the objects that reside in marital (and…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Dissipation Revisited
July 16, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6:36 minutes to read} Dissipation occurs when one spouse spends marital funds on something that has nothing to do with…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Children
A Triumph for the Best Interests of the Child
February 26, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
The Overruling of Baures by the NJ Appellate Court {7:12 minutes to read} Relocation is among the most difficult family…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
The Focus Oriented Divorce Has Arrived
January 12, 2018 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{2:30 minutes to read} I am pleased to announce the completion of my certification as a Focus Oriented Professional, and…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Pathology Pointing: Why it Doesn’t Work in Divorce
December 5, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
What is the difference between Pollyannaism and a Balanced Realism Approach? {4:36 minutes to read} Pathology Pointing Our western medical…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Ungrateful and Pissed Off? A Curmudgeon’s Survival Guide for Thanksgiving
November 20, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6:00 minutes to read} Don’t look now, but here comes Thanksgiving! When you are already in survival mode, a holiday…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
The “We Space”
October 24, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:12 minutes to read} The “we space” is what is created when two or more people are in a relationship.…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Blame – Divorce’s Unfriendly Bedfellow Uncovered
September 7, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5:06 minutes to read} Let’s lift the blind on blame. If blame had a whistle blower, what would he say?…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Happy to Announce…
August 10, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3:12 minutes to read} I am pleased to announce that on June 22, 2017, I became of counsel to the firm…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
“Someday” and “Maybe” Numbers: The Challenge of Dividing Retirement Assets Part 3
June 20, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:00 minutes to read} In Part 2, we discussed marital vs non-marital retirement assets and how some of those assets…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
“Someday” and “Maybe” Numbers: The Challenge of Dividing Retirement Assets – Part 2
June 8, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:00 minutes to read} Just because we determine a value for something does not mean we divide it! Often spouses…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
“Someday” and “Maybe” Numbers: The Challenge of Dividing Retirement Assets – Part 1
May 23, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{2:48 minutes to read} “Hands off,” decries one spouse, “I worked for this, not you. Back off, you lazy sot!”…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Anger & Vitriol – and What to Do About Them in Divorce
April 3, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6:12 minutes to read) Yes, you’re mad as hell and you’re not gonna take it anymore! That’s what divorce is…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
The Mediator Will See You Now…
March 14, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:18 minutes to read} Often, with the best intentions, clients prepare for mediation by trying to resolve as many things…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Children
Sundays, Bloody Sundays
March 1, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:42 minutes to read} Sundays are not known to be the bright spot of the week. Sundays, especially Sunday evenings,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Is There Room For Other Professionals in Mediation?
February 13, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3:18 minutes to read} People going through divorce often discover they need more help than they initially imagined. Not only…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Why Do People Get Divorced?
February 1, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6:12 minutes to read} First, it should be said, no one divorces lightly. No one has ever walked into my…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
How Do We Understand Family During Divorce?
January 17, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:18 minutes to read} How do we understand family in a way that’s useful during divorce? First, it’s helpful to…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Are We There Yet? (Or How Long Does Divorce Mediation Take?)
January 3, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:00 minutes to read} How long is this going to take? When can we get this over with? When people…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
What Are We Celebrating Here?
December 5, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3:54 minutes to read} The holidays, now encroaching practically on back-to-school week, are here again. For many, ringing in the…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
What is a Family?
November 8, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:06 minutes to read} Recently, a mediation client exclaimed, “I want to stay married. I want us to still be…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
It Takes 2, Baby!? Or, What Happens When Only One Person Wants the Divorce?
September 20, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6:48 minutes to read} In New Jersey, divorce requires only one willing party. So what about the other party? The…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
How to Save Money and Affirm Life by Mediating Your Divorce
August 25, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:24 minutes to read} No one wants to spend more money than absolutely necessary on their divorce. No one has…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Divorce: Know When to Hold ‘Em, Know When to Fold ‘Em
July 12, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5:36 minutes to read} Recently, a young man, Dave*, called the office, reeling from the discovery of his wife’s infidelity…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Why People Divorce: The Breakdown That Precedes the Breakup
May 2, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:12 minutes to read} As a divorce mediator, I’m often asked: Why do people get divorced? What went wrong? Money…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
The Dissipation of Marital Assets
February 17, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:31 minutes to read} Dissipation of marital assets is an important topic arising in matrimonial law and mediation. Towards the…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
What Is ESP in New Jersey, and Do You Need a 6th Sense to Benefit?
January 28, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5:36 minutes to read} When divorcing couples are on the (complex) litigation track, at a certain point in the process,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
What Makes Divorce so Scary?
April 28, 2015 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
One of my tasks as a New Jersey and New York mediator is to normalize my clients lives as they…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
The Principal And The Practical
July 31, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Often when people are unable to move through conflict, it is because they are adhering to what they believe is…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
What Divorce Can And Can’t Do
May 29, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
This week I spoke with a gentleman who, during a 22-year marriage, amassed a considerable pension. His wife, on the…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
What Is Divorce From Bed And Board? And Is Breakfast Included?
April 3, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
In certain states, married…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
January 30, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
A woman I know has been trying to decide what she should do about her marriage. She has a love…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
It’s A Matter Of Time …
November 27, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Here it is – some empirical proof that things really do shake out after divorce. Not only does this Wall Street…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Facing Divorce and Feeling Overwhelmed?
July 10, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
In most “traditional” marriages, there is a division of labor. One party typically is in charge of paying the bills,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Five Things Divorcing Couples Need To Know – Part 2
October 18, 2012 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Part 1 of this article reprint covered the first two things that divorcing couples need to know to help themselves…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Five Things Divorcing Couples Need To Know – Part 1
October 1, 2012 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
I have the greatest respect for people facing divorce. I know first hand, heart and head, the courage one must…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Five Things Divorcing Couples Need To Know
April 26, 2011 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
I have the greatest respect for people facing divorce. I know first hand, heart and head, the courage one must…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
The Alexander Group LLC – Mediation and Family Law
December 31, 2010 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
The purpose of this blog is to offer information and support to people going through, or contemplating divorce. Rachel Alexander,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.