Rachel Alexander, Esq., Author at Divorce Mediation & Family Attorney

Mediation
To Mediate or Not to Mediate: The Question of Power Imbalance, Part I
July 5, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:00 minutes to read} Certain relationships are problematic and challenging, whether in mediation or litigation. This article looks at one…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
“Someday” and “Maybe” Numbers: The Challenge of Dividing Retirement Assets Part 3
June 20, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:00 minutes to read} In Part 2, we discussed marital vs non-marital retirement assets and how some of those assets…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
“Someday” and “Maybe” Numbers: The Challenge of Dividing Retirement Assets – Part 2
June 8, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:00 minutes to read} Just because we determine a value for something does not mean we divide it! Often spouses…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
“Someday” and “Maybe” Numbers: The Challenge of Dividing Retirement Assets – Part 1
May 23, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{2:48 minutes to read} “Hands off,” decries one spouse, “I worked for this, not you. Back off, you lazy sot!”…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Mediation
Look Who is Coming to the Mediation Table
April 17, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:54 minutes to read} What happens when attorneys join clients in matrimonial mediation? It’s anyone’s guess! Generally, in my practice,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Anger & Vitriol – and What to Do About Them in Divorce
April 3, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6:12 minutes to read) Yes, you’re mad as hell and you’re not gonna take it anymore! That’s what divorce is…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
The Mediator Will See You Now…
March 14, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:18 minutes to read} Often, with the best intentions, clients prepare for mediation by trying to resolve as many things…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Children
Sundays, Bloody Sundays
March 1, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:42 minutes to read} Sundays are not known to be the bright spot of the week. Sundays, especially Sunday evenings,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Is There Room For Other Professionals in Mediation?
February 13, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3:18 minutes to read} People going through divorce often discover they need more help than they initially imagined. Not only…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Why Do People Get Divorced?
February 1, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6:12 minutes to read} First, it should be said, no one divorces lightly. No one has ever walked into my…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
How Do We Understand Family During Divorce?
January 17, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:18 minutes to read} How do we understand family in a way that’s useful during divorce? First, it’s helpful to…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Are We There Yet? (Or How Long Does Divorce Mediation Take?)
January 3, 2017 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:00 minutes to read} How long is this going to take? When can we get this over with? When people…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
What Are We Celebrating Here?
December 5, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3:54 minutes to read} The holidays, now encroaching practically on back-to-school week, are here again. For many, ringing in the…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Focusing
Curiosity: The Little Word that Could
November 22, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5:80 minutes to read} Curiosity: A simple word that can unlock possibilities, shift paradigms, and free us from the…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
What is a Family?
November 8, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:06 minutes to read} Recently, a mediation client exclaimed, “I want to stay married. I want us to still be…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
It Takes 2, Baby!? Or, What Happens When Only One Person Wants the Divorce?
September 20, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{6:48 minutes to read} In New Jersey, divorce requires only one willing party. So what about the other party? The…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
How to Save Money and Affirm Life by Mediating Your Divorce
August 25, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:24 minutes to read} No one wants to spend more money than absolutely necessary on their divorce. No one has…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Parenting
The Magic of the Winter Picnic
August 10, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{9:54 minutes to read} Divorce, Money and How to Insulate the Children One winter evening, when I was five,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Rachel “Andy Rooney” Alexander—An Op-Ed Blog
July 26, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3:18 minutes to read} Why is everything so truncated and terrible these days? Why can’t we have something that works…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Divorce: Know When to Hold ‘Em, Know When to Fold ‘Em
July 12, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5:36 minutes to read} Recently, a young man, Dave*, called the office, reeling from the discovery of his wife’s infidelity…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Mediation
The Difference Between the Mediator, the Draftsman, and Bartleby the Scrivener
June 30, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{7:18 minutes to read} On occasion, clients enter mediation with a proposed property settlement agreement in hand—something they have put…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Changing the Other vs Leaving Them Alone
June 15, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Things would work, if only s/he would change {7:36 minutes to read} Many relationships seem to have to do with…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Ode to Validation: The Actual Contents of the Milk of Human Kindness
May 31, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
The Path to Validation Is Through Our Ears {6:48 minutes to read} Validation is the yeast of a marriage. Without…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Validation—How We Speak Is How We Love
May 17, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:24 minutes to read} There is a saying that goes, “In heaven, there’s no talking, because men invented heaven.” OK,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Why People Divorce: The Breakdown That Precedes the Breakup
May 2, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:12 minutes to read} As a divorce mediator, I’m often asked: Why do people get divorced? What went wrong? Money…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Mediation
Whose Side Are We On? The Same Side!
April 21, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{3:00 minutes to read} Not long ago, I heard something fairly remarkable in my mediation session. To set the scene…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Finance
Alimony Ain’t Easy!
April 5, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{8:18 minutes to read} As a divorce mediator and family law attorney, I am often asked, “What’s the formula to…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Parenting
Parental Alienation—Right Here on Earth
March 22, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Parental alienation occurs when one parent hinders or disrupts, even poisons the relationship between the child and the other (usually…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
Creating a Healthy Divorce Narrative for your Kids
March 9, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
There are a lot of recommendations about how to tell your children you are getting divorced. This article concentrates on…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Parenting
Parentification
February 26, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Childhood, until the mid-18th century, it is commonly believed, was not conceptualized as a particular stage in life. As reflected…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
The Dissipation of Marital Assets
February 17, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{4:31 minutes to read} Dissipation of marital assets is an important topic arising in matrimonial law and mediation. Towards the…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
What Is ESP in New Jersey, and Do You Need a 6th Sense to Benefit?
January 28, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
{5:36 minutes to read} When divorcing couples are on the (complex) litigation track, at a certain point in the process,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
How a Divorce Support Group Can Help You
January 5, 2016 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Getting a divorce could have a profound impact on the rest of your life. Going through a divorce alone is…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Finance
A healthy approach to creating a Post-Divorce Budget
December 23, 2015 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Budgeting – the very mention of it – sends many people into something like anaphylactic shock. They stop breathing, rouge,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
What Makes Divorce so Scary?
April 28, 2015 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
One of my tasks as a New Jersey and New York mediator is to normalize my clients lives as they…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
The Progression Of The Species
August 7, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
“Before you speak ask yourself: Is it kind, Is it necessary, Is it true, Does it improve upon the silence?”…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
The Principal And The Practical
July 31, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Often when people are unable to move through conflict, it is because they are adhering to what they believe is…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Finance
Reentering The Workforce – Part 2
July 11, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
In the last blog, we looked at re-entering the workforce with a focus on work being an articulation of Self.…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Finance
Reentering The Workforce
July 1, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce is such a troublemaker because it brings up so many troublesome life issues. One of them is work. Work…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Parenting
Going Without And Going Within
June 13, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
One of the challenges of divorce is going without. Almost everyone goes through a monetary strain during divorce because running…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
What Divorce Can And Can’t Do
May 29, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
This week I spoke with a gentleman who, during a 22-year marriage, amassed a considerable pension. His wife, on the…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
The Big Freeze: Overcoming Inertia What To Do When You Can’t Do A Thing
May 14, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Everyone’s heard of fight or flight, but what about freeze? One of our responses to fear is freezing which is…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
A Communication Template For Divorced Parents
May 1, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communicating is riddled with potholes. This is particularly so for divorced couples whose relationship may be strained with distrust, unresolved…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Find Solid Ground In Rough Waters: The Usefulness Of Goals
April 17, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Sometimes a clear goal can work like a life preserver, pulling you through tumultuous waters onto the safety of solid…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
What Is Divorce From Bed And Board? And Is Breakfast Included?
April 3, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
In certain states, married…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Parenting
Create A Family Manifesto: Bring Unity By Developing Your Own Rules Of Law
March 20, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Straddling two addresses is difficult enough for an adult, but for a child who has limited control over his environment,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Mediation
Can A Divorce Mediator Help Couples Stay Together?
February 13, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
One of my goals as a mediator is to help people discern what is in their best interest – what…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
January 30, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
A woman I know has been trying to decide what she should do about her marriage. She has a love…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
The Power Of “I Don’t Know”
January 15, 2014 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
“Whoever cannot seek the unforeseen sees nothing, for the known way is an impasse.” Heraclitus There is nothing like divorce…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Finance
If Divorce Is In The Future, What Documents Do You Need And Why?
December 31, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Claudia Mott is a Certified Financial Planner® with a specialty in divorce. We have invited her to act as a…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
What’s Your Story? Here’s Mine.
December 12, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Years ago, when I went through my own divorce, I found myself at sea (alone and on a rather shoddy…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
It’s A Matter Of Time …
November 27, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Here it is – some empirical proof that things really do shake out after divorce. Not only does this Wall Street…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
4 Tips To Let The Light In But Keep The Bugs Out
November 14, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Are you the kind of person whose first thought when something goes awry is, “What did I do wrong?” If…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Two Canine Commands That Are Worthy Of Us All
October 31, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Certain dog commands are brilliant, simple and wise. They have poignancy and relevance for us all. These commands can be…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Why God Is In The Details
October 21, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
In life as in everything else, there is a place for the big picture approach, but there is also a…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Spaghetti? Murder Mysteries? Ben & Jerry’s? What Is Your Favorite Coping Strategy?
October 3, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
What coping skills do professionals recommend to clients going through divorce or other crises? Which should be utilized and which…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Gratitude
September 20, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
As our Jewish brethren welcome the New Year, it’s a good opportunity to reflect on what we have to be…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Creating Stability In A Time Of Transition – Part 2
September 4, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Part 1 of this series focused on how to create stability in your life when going through a disruptive time…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Creating Stability In A Time Of Transition – Part 1
August 21, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
There are few things more terrifying than the unknown. We want to feel like we have our feet under us…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Stress and Divorce, Part 2
August 7, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
When acutely stressed, we first want to turn to our bodies, which provide the pathway into the part of our…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Why Is Managing Stress During Divorce So Important? Part 1
July 25, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
We all experience stress from time to time, but when we find ourselves experiencing unrelenting anxiety it may be our…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Facing Divorce and Feeling Overwhelmed?
July 10, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
In most “traditional” marriages, there is a division of labor. One party typically is in charge of paying the bills,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Inner Dialogue: The Foundation Of Compassionate
June 26, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
“Compassionate toward yourself, you reconcile all beings in the world.” Lao Tzu , Tao Te Ching We begin, always, with…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Managing Our Emotions
June 12, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Managing our emotions may be one of adulthood’s major challenges. How well we are able to self-soothe defines at least…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
Learning To Let Go
May 29, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
The principle of letting go is worth wrestling with. It’s a wonderful concept, and yet, unlike breathing, and other behaviors…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
The Four Styles Of Communication
May 17, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
In recent blogs, we’ve been exploring communication. In this blog we will simply identify the four basic styles of communication.…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Finance
Your Divorce And Your Health [Insurance]
April 30, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Health care coverage – or lack thereof – may be one of the most daunting issues facing divorcing couples. Fortunately,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Finance
Where Is The Equitable In Equitable Distribution? Part 3
April 11, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
A divorce is not going to make whole what you didn’t resolve in the marriage. You are ending the marriage…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Finance
Where Is The Equitable in Equitable Distribution? Part 2
April 3, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
In Part 1, we looked at the legal treatment of marriage as an unemotional financial partnership. This is intrinsically problematic…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Finance
Where Is The Equitable in Equitable Distribution? Part 1
March 28, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
One of the challenges of divorce is dealing with two types of equity – emotionaland financial – when the two…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
The Case For Clear Communication – Part 4b
March 22, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Using Communication Responsibly and Effectively After inquiring and centering within, you are prepared to venture without. Without Once you have…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
The Case for Clear Communication – Part 4a
March 14, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Using Communication Responsibly and Effectively As our spiritual masters teach us, as within, so without. For our purposes, I will…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
The Case For Clear Communication – Part 3
March 8, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
“The Verbal Eye Roll/ The Shakespearian Aside” Having covered venting in the previous blog, let’s look at another form of…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
The Case For Clear Communication – Part 2
March 4, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
In the last blog, we looked at the importance of effective communication, distinguishing it from self expression. Self expression can…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Communication
The Case For Clear Communication
February 21, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
I’ve heard it said that in heaven there is no need for speech because everyone is completely fulfilled. Here on…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
If It’s Not Working, Acknowledge It And Move On
February 18, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
It seems to be a human tendency, upon discovering that something is not working, to cling to it for dear…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
A Happier New Year – 2013
January 10, 2013 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
The New Year brings the opportunity to look ahead with a clean slate. For divorcing couples this can be an…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Five Things Divorcing Couples Need To Know – Part 2
October 18, 2012 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Part 1 of this article reprint covered the first two things that divorcing couples need to know to help themselves…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Five Things Divorcing Couples Need To Know – Part 1
October 1, 2012 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
I have the greatest respect for people facing divorce. I know first hand, heart and head, the courage one must…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Mediation
Three Tips To An Effective Mediation
September 20, 2012 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
One of the benefits of mediation is that clients save money – a lot of money – compared to the…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
Five Things Divorcing Couples Need To Know
April 26, 2011 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
I have the greatest respect for people facing divorce. I know first hand, heart and head, the courage one must…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Finance
Three Tips To Save Money In Mediation
January 4, 2011 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
One of the benefits of mediation is that clients save money – a lot of money – compared to the…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Well-Being
A Happier New Year
January 1, 2011 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
The New Year brings with it the opportunity to look ahead to a clean slate. For divorcing couples this can…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.
Divorce
The Alexander Group LLC – Mediation and Family Law
December 31, 2010 - by Rachel Alexander, Esq.
The purpose of this blog is to offer information and support to people going through, or contemplating divorce. Rachel Alexander,…

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Rachel Alexander, Esq.

Author archive for Rachel Alexander, Esq.