Contrary to an adversarial divorce, mediation provides couples with the opportunity to process their thoughts and feelings on the various issues of their separation. You come away feeling validated and intact (not defeated or devastated, as is often the result of an adversarial divorce). With a mediator’s help, you build an agreement, determining such things as parenting time, child support, equitable distribution, spousal maintenance and any other issues you deem important.
Your Interests – Your Decisions
You make the decisions; your mediator provides their expertise, a framework of the governing law, and keeps the conversations productive and focused. The outcome is based on what the two of you determine is fair, equitable and responsive to the specific needs of your family.
Experts agree that in almost all cases, parents are in the best position to determine what is best for their children. In an adversarial divorce, parents may unwittingly give up the power to make decisions on behalf of their children. A judge, law guardian and/or forensic psychologist, who has had limited contact with you and holds limited knowledge of your family, may heavily influence critical decisions affecting your family’s future. In mediation, parental knowledge, insight, and love govern the decisions made, by you, on behalf of your children.
It is undeniable that families change as a result of divorce; what that transformation looks like is up to you. Families are, by nature, dynamic, growing entities. Change, even unwanted change, need not break or diminish the family spirit. Change can make space for healing and growth. Divorce may present the opportunity to create a system that is ultimately healthier and more functional for you and your family.
The Gift of Mediation
You have the possibility of constructing a new model of problem solving, communicating and co-parenting. In the process of mediating you will have modeled this behavior for your children while protecting them, and one another, from the potentially damaging effects of an adversarial divorce.