Rachel Alexander, ESQ.
Divorce Mediation
Alexander Mediation Group is a professional divorce mediation firm serving couples and families throughout New Jersey, New York City, and the Hamptons. Our mediator can help you work through your divorce's financial, emotional, and legal issues.
Rachel Alexander, ESQ.
Alexander Mediation Group
Rachel Alexander is a family law attorney and professional mediator specializing in family-related matters. For over 20 years, Rachel has handled various family law cases, including divorce, child custody, child support, prenuptial agreements, and more. Learn more about Rachel.
How Divorce Mediation Works
Understand the Mediator’s Neutral Role
A mediator serves as an impartial conflict resolution specialist who facilitates negotiations between parties. A divorce mediator works with spouses to discuss and negotiate all issues requiring resolution prior to entering an agreement and becoming legally divorced. Divorce mediators are trained to manage the complex topics involved in the legal dissolution of marriage, as well as the personal and logistical challenges divorce surfaces.
The mediator does not represent either person or decide the outcome. Each spouse retains control over the final decisions. The mediator ensures that all required topics are covered and resolved so that a comprehensive, legal settlement agreement can be prepared and executed by the parties. This settlement agreement forms the quintessential document of their divorce.
Spouses are welcome to consult separate attorneys at any point throughout the mediation process to receive individual legal advice. Clients are expected to engage attorneys to review their settlement agreement prior to finalizing and executing it.
Most divorces are resolved outside of a courtroom, and courts often utilize mediators to reduce the cost of conflict, compel litigations to completion and thereby relieve overburdened dockets.
Identify Every Issue the Divorce Agreement Must Address
Divorce mediation begins with a complete list of the issues that require decisions. Parenting matters may include Child Custody Mediation and Child Support Mediation.
Financial matters may include Equitable Distribution Mediation, Marital Property Mediation, and Alimony and Spousal Support Mediation. The spouses may need to address the future of the marital home, distribution of retirement assets, business valuations, division of debt, and post-divorce Healthcare and Insurance coverage.
The mediator primarily communicates with both parties simultaneously through sessions, encouraging the parties to hear one another and fully explore their interests, concerns, and priorities. These transparent, facilitated conversations ensure that all important items are addressed and decisions are fully considered before they are entered into the written agreement.
Exchange the Information Needed to Make Decisions
Both spouses need complete access to the information necessary to make informed decisions. The meditator facilitates informal and targeted discovery (which is the exchange of primarily documentary evidence, such as bank statements). The mediator helps spouses identify which documents, statements, records or other evidentiary materials they require to create a full picture of their finances. The mediator also helps parties identify what may be gratuitous, to help them avoid the overwhelm of overly producing unnecessary documentation.
Though one spouse may have handled the finances during the marriage, that does not prevent the parties from mediating. The other spouse must have access to the information and enough time and support to review and understand it.
Mediation requires that parties openly exchange information. Whereas in litigation, discovery can be a time-consuming, antagonistic, costly ordeal wherein litigants can use the process to obfuscate or withhold information as a strategic tactic. In mediation, this does not stand. In mediation, the goal is efficient, effective information exchange. The focus is on collectively creating a factual architecture in which to work. The more comprehensive and reliable the information, the better equipped both parties are to make decisions. Both people then work from the same factual record when considering possible arrangements and solutions. Shared information and a shared reality is paramount for developing solid, enforceable agreements.
Evaluate Options and Resolve Disagreements
Spouses do not need to agree on every – or any — issue before starting mediation. The process is intended to help parties navigate disagreements and negotiate proposals.
Child-Centered Divorce and Mediation can help parents focus on how their decisions will affect their children. The mediator keeps the discussion focused while the parents determine which arrangement works for their family.
Review, Sign, and File the Completed Agreement
Once the spouses resolve every required issue, Alexander Mediation Group prepares the written divorce agreement. Depending on the matter, the document may be called a Property Settlement Agreement, Marital Settlement Agreement, or Stipulation of Settlement.
The spouses meet with the mediator to review the draft agreement and then have ample time to review it further. Spouses can request simple edits to which they both agree. Substantive changes requiring negotiation and problem solving are made in mediation. Once the agreement is clean and near finalization, Alexander Mediation Group recommends that each spouse consult a separate, mediation-friendly review attorney before signing.
After the parties approve, sign, and notarize the agreement, Alexander Mediation Group can prepare and file the other documents required for an uncontested divorce. With the mediator’s continued guidance, the parties can then proceed through the Uncontested Divorce process and ultimately receive the final Judgment of Divorce.
Monthly Divorce Support Groups
A welcoming space for individuals navigating divorce, separation, or the contemplation of significant relationship change.
Divorce Mediation FAQ
Do We Need to Agree on Everything Before Starting Divorce Mediation?
No. Mediation helps spouses skillfully address disagreements, gather necessary information, and develop solutions. Participation in mediation is voluntary, but most cases involve issues that benefit from, if not require professional guidance to resolve.
How Does a Divorce Mediator Differ from a Divorce Lawyer?
A divorce mediator works neutrally to facilitate negotiations between both spouses; the mediator does not advocate for the interests of one party at the expense of the other. A divorce lawyer exclusively represents one client’s individual interests. While participating in mediation, each spouse may consult with separate attorneys at any time.
Can We Mediate If One Spouse Handled Most of the Finances?
Yes. Both spouses are rarely equally involved in the marital finances and it is certainly not a requirement for mediation. Both spouses must have access to the relevant information and enough time and support to understand it before making decisions. All of this happens in the mediation process.
Can Divorce Mediation Address Parenting and Financial Issues Together?
Yes. Divorce mediation can address parenting and financial issues through one process over a series of sessions. Parenting issues are guided by the best interest of the children and are not conflated with other issues. Parenting rights and objectives are disambiguated from all other issues and the children are never weaponized as an instrument for trading or withholding assets or support.
What Happens After We Reach a Complete Divorce Agreement?
Alexander Mediation Group memorializes the agreement into a legal document to review with the parties. Each spouse is encouraged to consult a separate review attorney before signing.
Once the agreement is approved and executed, Alexander Mediation Group can prepare the additional required divorce documents. The court then reviews the submission and grants the Judgment of Divorce.
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